Should've, Shouldn't, Should, Past, Present and Future

Some people say you should not live in the past or predict the future but live only in the present.  I mostly agree with this theory but find it hard to put into practice.  I tend to look at the past and say that I should've done this or shouldn't have done that.  This taints my view of the present which negatively tints my vision of the future.

I use my views of my past then say that from now on I should do this or that to make my future better than my past.
I also say I shouldn't do this now to make my future better.
Either way, the two words are projecting a future action (even if the future is just a second from now, like saying no to a negative temptation that I want to do right now in the present).  Pretty confusing, right?

Tonight I landed at Kitty Hawk (pun intended) on the next stop of my NJOYLIF quest.  It was after dark  when I found a motel right to the beach. I only assumed my room was right on the beach because the sea oats were just outside my room and I could hear the whursh of the surf not very far away.  However, I could not see it, I could only hear it.  I had not seen any colorful brochures of my motel room's beach view since I just picked it based on a list of motels my GPS told me were in Kitty Hawk on Ocean Shore Avenue.

My point is that I don't have any guarantees that when I wake up tomorrow morning I will be greeted by the fulfillment of the mental image of what I think the beach will look like (assuming it is even as close as I think it is). This does not stop me of eagerly anticipating waking up tomorrow morning and enjoying a freshly brewed cup-o-joe on my deck with the ocean just a few sandy steps away.

Tonight I could not help but walk out on the trail between the sea oats to see if I could actually see the ocean. It was just too dark to tell.  This is what this dark grainy picture is.  Me and my shadow standing on the path I will follow tomorrow morning to see if my anticipation proves to be what I hope it will be.

However, right now, I just don't know.  It is dark, and my path is uncertain but I am looking forward to tomorrow.

This is different than where my mind was last week when when my path was dark and uncertain but I was not looking forward to the next day because I was too caught up in what I should or shouldn't have done in the past.

I don't think we can escape from thinking about the future, but we can stop thinking about the past, or at least decide not to let it taint our present, which tints our future.  Maybe I can use the mental image of me standing on this sandy path at night lured by the sound of the sea to help me look forward to the next day even when my present is dark and uncertain.  God's call from the waves whurshing up on the beach beckons me to look forward to tomorrow.

I sure hope that whurshing sound is God and the beautiful sea and not the gushing of a very huge sewer pipe!  The key word here is hope for tomorrow un-tainted by what I should've or shouldn't have done in the past.  Or, what I should or shouldn't do in the future.  If tomorrow morning brings me a lovely view of the ocean as I sip my coffee I will just live in the glory of the present, at least for an hout or two...

a Robservation
11-5-10